woah.
yeah. that is how busy i have been.
i wanted to blog that night.
you know, for the sake of seeing the last 07 post published.
but then.
i was burnt-out by the time i got home.
and i dont think it would matter since it was already past 1am.
the fireworks were phenomenal though.
i cant imagine how i had flopped into bed with my jeans still on, unbrushed teeth and unwashed face.
but yeah. i was that tired.
not that i have never done it before, but each time i do, i wake up the next morning feeling all guilty and bothered.
right now, the possibility of breaking out is threatening me.
fine. i'll worry about it later.
so its au revoir 07 and bonjour 08.
what i initially deemed to be freaking bitter turned out really sweet.
thank you so much for making all the impossible possible.
with all that overwhelming love and laughter.
you guys know who you are.
i love you.
as i told fir and wazi.
i really dont need it anymore.
but somethings are just holding me back despite the unpleasant affairs.
they know its them.
they brought me to a whole new level of understanding.
challenging the conventional stereotype.
its very scandalous, in that merely 40 metres square area.
skeletons in their cupboards.
those of the staff, people around and the mac riders.
and who can ever forget adorable jenny?
she's our shared baby.
thanks to the riders who feed her every so often that she's becoming really fat.
i was telling him that night.
he took it so seriously that he made a confession.
i pretended not to hear and made him repeat it.
he didnt.
but i heard him loud and clear.
every single word.
im just going to act all nonchalant.
its dee's first day of school.
ultimate cuteness in the oversized uniform.
i brought her to the hairdresser last friday and she was given the victoria beckham bob.
she looked so cute that irah couldnt stop gushing.
even hir stayed throughout the four sittings of her dance that she made us watch.
it was cool just chilling with them throughout the weekend.
despite my torn jeans and skin while on the treadmill. all thanks to syahir.
lounging by the poolside.
swimming without the tan.
oh yeah.
and the vastness of the night sky and golf course all to ourselves.
and thanks to abel and brandon.
i stayed up till near 6am for many consecutive days to watch prison break and heroes.
the parcels from down under were awesome.
she's really spoiling me crazy.
and she loves it that i love them.
oh yeah.
day out with the girls tomorrow.
multiple games on saturday morning.
followed by gwen's birthday bash in the evening.
thanks to the theme, i have yet to find my costume.
the girl got me reading about yajuj and majuj (gog and magog).
Gog and Magog, or Yajuj and Majuj among the Arabs, are mentioned in the Koran and by most Arabic geographers as more or less mythical peoples. The chief interest in them centers about two points: (1) the wall built by Dhu al-Ḳarnain (Alexander the Great) to shut them off from the rest of the world, and (2) their reappearance as a sign of the last day. Geographically they represent the extreme northeast, and are placed on the borders of the sea which encircles the earth. Descended from Japheth, son of Noah, they number twenty-four tribes. Six of these are known by name (one being that of the Turks); and the number of each tribe equals that of all the other people in the world. Some say that they belong to the Chazars, who are all Jews (Yaḳut, ii. 440).
They resemble animals in their habits; and Mas'udi classes them among the beasts. They used to ravage the country, devouring every green thing; and it was to prevent this that the people living near them begged Alexander to build the wall shutting them in. It is even said that they were cannibals (Baiḍawi).
The wall is generally supposed to have been at Derbent, although in later times it seems to have become confused with the Great Wall of China (Abu al-Fida). The geographers frequently quote an account of it given by Sallam, the interpreter. The calif Wathiḳ Billah had seen the wall destroyed in a dream, and he sent Sallam to investigate. The latter recounts marvelous things of the countries through which he passed on his way thither, and gives a minute description of the wall itself. It was built in a gorge 150 cubits wide, and reached to the top of the mountains. Constructed of iron bricks embedded in molten brass, it had a peculiar red-and-black striped appearance. In it was an immense gate provided with a giant bolt, lock, and key, the last of which was suspended by a chain. Yaḳut remarks on this story that God, who knoweth all things, also knows whether it be true or not, but of the existence of the wall there can be no doubt, since it is mentioned in the sacred book.
As one of the signs of the approaching day of judgment this wall will be broken down and Yajuj and Majuj will appear at Lake Tiberias, the water of which the vanguard of their hosts will entirely consume, so that the rear will pass over on dry ground. They will then proceed, eating every one they meet, even corpses, and every green thing, until they come to Jerusalem. Here, until God shall destroy them, they will annoy Jesus and his faithful companions. It is said that Mohammed gave Yajuj and Majuj an opportunity to embrace Islam on the occasion of his night journey to Jerusalem; but they refused to do so, and consequently are doomed to destruction.
source: http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=292&letter=G
think of the beings in the movies the descent and i am legend.
oh yeah.
and gollum from lord of the rings.
i think thats how they most probably look like.
scary.
something to get you going.
and believing in yourself again.
“What you need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learnt along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing out dreams, master the lessons we’ve learnt as we’ve moved towards that dream. Thats the point at which most people give up. Its the point at which , as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon’. Every search begins with the beginner’s luck and every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested. “
- the Alchemist
now.
what was it about clogged pores and breaking out?
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Monday, November 12, 2007
for the tenth of the eleventh:
happy seventeenth to the dearest sweetheart.
i could see the glow on your face and the shine in your eyes.
yes, you are awfully blessed and spoilt.
i woke up to suria's call.
she seemed genuinely surprised that i was still in bed at 9.38am on a sunday morning.
come on girl. i can sleep in till 2pm.
the game was at bishan park and i was dreadfully late.
i like the waking-up-late system.
but the get-ready-in-seconds-then-throwing-your-stuff-in-your-duffel-bag-later-grabbing-ibu's-hand-to-salam-and-dashing-out-of-the-door sucks big time.
especially when my stomach is grumbling.
okay, fine.
its nothing new for me for the past seven years.
and you always blow your money when you are unpunctual.
because the next best thing to your father's car is the cab.
he dropped me off 1km from the actual destination.
l o s t .
the tentage was nowhere to be seen la.
thank goodness for the invention of the handphone, dayah's boyfriend, hafiz and his fantastic ability to convey directions to someone whose navigation sucks big time.
i was so selengeh la.
oh all right.
the 1km distance is an exaggeration.
but let's just say that i warmed up thoroughly for that unnecessary 400m.
flushed face, sweating and panting.
we were the JJC alumni.
made me feel so damn old.
yeah okay, we are.
five on five.
in a 59ft by 79ft playing area.
10 minutes straight.
and we had no subs.
it was ludicrous how small the playing area was for 10 players.
the try area already took up 1/6 of the entire playing space.
and it took merely 2 punch ups to push the defenders to the try line.
it was almost impossible to score by side-stepping and hoping to weave your way through the opposition.
so the tries we scored were mostly dummy-half breakthroughs, ball interceptions and that one superb side-stepping and breaking through.
amazingly great games.
the guys came down to support us as well.
although some of them never played rugby.
and..
armed with their notes in hand, squeezing in time to study whenever it wasnt our game.
they provided great support, being photographers of the day, getting us bottles of drinks and carrying our belongings.
great fun.
free flow of milo from the van.
sarpino pizza, ramly burger and more at the booths.
their goodie bags were even more delightful.
mini standard charted rugby balls, battery-operated fan (batteries included), bottle of water, chocolates, pen, ringed notebook, post-its, the singapore netball magazine, vouchers and standard charted balloon bangers.
and the guys' games are always worth watching.
the pace, intensity and determination.
yeah, he was there as well.
the guys fell silent as we walked past them and i raised my eyebrow to acknowledge him.
he came up to me and we chatted.
our smiles at each other were a wordless mutual understanding.
none will ever know.
and diana's boyfriend was such a dear to drive us back to three different destinations, splashed across singapore.
despite the traffic jam at the expressway, making sure the aircon was turned on at full blast, not minding the stench of sweat, having to listen to 4 girls talking girl stuff and trying to join in our conversations.
he's really cute, even suria agrees.
thanks alot aidil.
the brother pierced his head against the edge of a wall.
a long, deep gash ran at the back of his head.
he was bleeding profusely that he soaked 5 pieces of cloth with his blood.
nana was already feeling nauseous and my eyes were glistening wet as ibu was trying to stop his bleeding.
he was brought to hospital.
during dinner at makngah's on saturday, as i related what happened to busu and cik lim, nenek said, "syaz sampai nak nangis tengok muzakkir hari tu. sayang betol dier dengan adek dier eh."
hell yeah.
i stumbled on him bare-bodied.
clearly, i was the one flushing.
i mean, there was nothing to be embarrassed about for him.
with a torso so fine like that.
well-defined and toned built.
i had no idea.
SYAZ!!
okay. i'll stop.
he merely raised his eyebrow and gave me a cheeky smile.
that left me speechless.
he has been working out, and its not ns.
i just wonder how.
decided to hit the school gym one afternoon, when the gym regular entered.
he changed his mind when he saw me.
decided on a run outside instead.
ehh??
met that girl.
and a loud exclaimation from syazana.
out of all places, at admiralty market.
its been such a long time and she looked good.
stopped awhile and chatted.
she remembers that jew while i cant forget masjid bencoolen.
ultimate coolness is not what people will normally describe a mosque, but im not exaggerating.
part of the carpark, it is located underground.
and air-conditioned.
completely dungeon-like.
for the first time, i wished we had spent more than that 45 minutes at a mosque.
i have been wasting money on ridiculous stuff.
original vcds, dvds and pieces of paper.
$84.60 worth of damage.
and he still owes me $45.80.
not good.
especially when im supposed to be saving money.
for my crib.
a condominium penthouse, please.
yeah.
i am serious.
its that number of the month again, love.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
okay.
lets make it quick, get it over and done with.
before midnight strikes.
even cinderella dreaded that twelve.
happy nineteenth to my dearest darling.
i love you in a really really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of my favourite secret recipe cheesecake, endure the child in you, tolerate your arrogance and vanity, permit you spritz on my ralph lauren - the unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.
thanks for everything you have been for me.
no one can ever take your place. really.
a blissful day for you, a miserable time for me to see a hundred spent.
just like that. kidding!!
i love you a million blue crispy m&ms.
with greater love, kakak.
so.
just that night i had a dream of you.
it was so dark, evil and cruel, it was real good.
nah, i didnt wake up all sweaty and gasping, feeling all relieved that it was only a dream..
cause for that moment.
if my fairy godmother came to grant me a wish, i wished it was real.
no. im not a sadist.
you just bloody deserved it, baby.
its been nine years and counting.
they still do these to me.
my heart still beats fast, my stomach still flutters.
and i get these warm tingling sensations all over.
show me the shape of your heart.
for the first time in my entire twenty years.
he asked me, "did you put on weight?"
its been years since we've met la, but still.
someone actually asked me that.
i never thought i was going to answer that question. ever.
and the answer is a yes.
i made him spill what gave it away.
okay.
he had both me and wazi calculating our BMI.
and tomorrow.
another hour of floorball against the guys.
whatever. i dont care.
the last time we played, i managed to score that flick for the girls.
i still feel it wasnt worth my torn pants and skin.
even though it was nice having them fusing over nothing. hah.
they should watch me play touch la.
seriously.
oliver james.
the lastest muse.
he is every reason for the word cute.
especially when he croons the romantic ballads in his deep, soft and smooth voice,
i become that idiot staring on screen, wishing that i was amanda bynes.
yeah, that will be my next wish if fairy godmother decides to be sympathetic and grant me another.
time check.
11.57 pm
just in time.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
she said she noticed.
cause they are beginning to be real weighty (pun intended), and more..
formed.
especially my cheeks and arse.
yeah, my breasts too.
i guess junking on ben and jerry's, chocolate bars and chips was successful.
and slapping on 2 inches of nutella onto every piece of my bread.
oh. and also those seriously deep fried junk. (i can imagine ibu shaking her head now.)
its so horribly unhealthy, i know.
i have been guzzling down heaven and earth's green tea out of their 1.5 litre bottles.
seriously hoping that it can at least flush the toxins from my dangerously noxious body.
hmm. i still dont know if it does. does it??
i have been working out. indoors.
sit ups, crunches, guys' push ups and carrying nana's dumbbells.
the game is coming up and i am anticipating it.
maybe i should start running.
hmm.
talking about anticipation.
the girl is madly anticipating her 19.
and its driving us all crazy.
especially when she had a smashing one last year, partly thanks to me.
you're most welcome.
the other one is looming real near as well.
im in serious need of a financial advisor.
i stumbled upon it with mixed feelings.
but i wished i had the original one.
oh. and the one other as well.
i really want it, i wish i had it with me still.
*//okay. im really ecstatic. he just sent me the photograph. that original one.
during dinner that night, i told ibu.
we are going to have 4 children.
i need 3 boys and the youngest, a lovely girl.
one to protect the mother.
the other to protect the sister.
the last, but strongest one, to fight the father (if he decides to be a bastard).
and they all laughed.
and we are going to pamper the baby girl like crazy.
just nice.
beatboxers.
hip hop dancers. especially when they take it to the streets.
my current squeezes.
rugby world cup finals 2007.
the clock counts down.
england up against south africa.
time to raid the fridge and hit the tv.
Friday, October 19, 2007
i am all smiles.
its a truly blissful feeling.
im not a morning person, but i just could feel the vibe.
nothing can oust me.
beyond doubt im stronger now, so i signed in and re-read.
the words and pictures transformed into flashbacks.
stumbled upon this:
paper heart.
my paper heart tore
teardrops wet my tee
my flushed pink cheeks
your words are poison.
bittersweet.
he is picking me up later in the evening.
for ayam penyet dinner at marine parade.
and teh tarik at changi.
4 more hours.
the most famous of all love scenes.
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east and Juliet is the sun.
Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou her maid art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid since she is envious.
Her vestal livery is but sick and green,
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O it is my love.
O that she knew she were.
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eyes discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those
stars.
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek.
just beautiful.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
i was walking home from school just now when i saw two naughty boys distressing the poor cat.
it is a frequent stray around my area.
totally heartless la.
it came running to me, and rubbed itself against my legs.
how can i resist when it is so manja like that??
i flopped onto the floor and showed it some love.
till way past buka.
syahir msged me at 5.04am on sunday.
the all time favourite.
they lost. =(
nobody does the haka like the all blacks.
richie mccaw from canterbury.
flanker and captain of the all blacks team.
now, thats real hot.
lewis hamilton lost too.
we celebrated the littlest birthday on saturday at my place.
cleaned upstairs, and finally nearly completed my chores.
the three of us were slogging in the kitchen.
like house-elves.
nana had that short break from the kitchen by going to causeway point - running errands.
i was watching transformers (for the fourth time) while folding the popiah.
nasrin couldnt wait for evening to come.
and we all could see how excited she was.
yeah, the load of cute presents she received.
she loved every one of them.
and her barney birthday cake.
totally like a kid.
it was delicious though.
happy 6th birthday darling.
i will always love you, baby.
he called me up.
wanting to talk to the princess FIRST.
and wish her happy birthday.
okay.
her eyes were shining bright talking to her "abang".
and she still cant believe he calls her "abang's princess".
*raises eyebrows and shakes head.*
too much already you know.
she is stealing all the guys away, including mine.
there was once she was talking to him, then hung up on him.
he called me back complaining, "woah!! your sister the potential heartbreaker. did you teach her that, syaz?"
i was shocked when i received the message.
i went home to check the papers, and saw the familiar face.
she is very young, and still unmarried.
innalillahi wainnalillahi rajiun.
i still remember her back at crescent.
nana corrected my previous blog posts.
whatever floats your boat la my dear.
the parcel came all the way from down under.
i loved the stuff she got me.
and im beginning to miss her alot.
i can still remember clearly, the last time we met up.
he looks so totally hot in uniform.
especially the number one.
oh. and with that sword.
Monday, October 8, 2007
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven
i'll stand up with you forever
i'll stand up with you forever
