okay.
lets make it quick, get it over and done with.
before midnight strikes.
even cinderella dreaded that twelve.

happy nineteenth to my dearest darling.

i love you in a really really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of my favourite secret recipe cheesecake, endure the child in you, tolerate your arrogance and vanity, permit you spritz on my ralph lauren - the unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.
thanks for everything you have been for me.
no one can ever take your place. really.
a blissful day for you, a miserable time for me to see a hundred spent.
just like that. kidding!!

i love you a million blue crispy m&ms.
with greater love, kakak.








so.
just that night i had a dream of you.
it was so dark, evil and cruel, it was real good.
nah, i didnt wake up all sweaty and gasping, feeling all relieved that it was only a dream..
cause for that moment.
if my fairy godmother came to grant me a wish, i wished it was real.
no. im not a sadist.
you just bloody deserved it, baby.









its been nine years and counting.
they still do these to me.
my heart still beats fast, my stomach still flutters.
and i get these warm tingling sensations all over.
show me the shape of your heart.








for the first time in my entire twenty years.
he asked me, "did you put on weight?"
its been years since we've met la, but still.
someone actually asked me that.
i never thought i was going to answer that question. ever.
and the answer is a yes.
i made him spill what gave it away.
okay.

he had both me and wazi calculating our BMI.

and tomorrow.
another hour of floorball against the guys.
whatever. i dont care.
the last time we played, i managed to score that flick for the girls.
i still feel it wasnt worth my torn pants and skin.
even though it was nice having them fusing over nothing. hah.
they should watch me play touch la.
seriously.










oliver james.
the lastest muse.
he is every reason for the word cute.
especially when he croons the romantic ballads in his deep, soft and smooth voice,
i become that idiot staring on screen, wishing that i was amanda bynes.
yeah, that will be my next wish if fairy godmother decides to be sympathetic and grant me another.










time check.
11.57 pm
just in time.

paris, 20 october - south africa defeated england 15-6 in the world cup final at Stade de France on saturday to add a second webb ellis cup to the one they won as hosts in 1995.








you are such a dear to try stay up and accompany me.
"i love you a million red m&m's."








*//my phone is ringing. its him. =)

okay.
south africa is leading england 15-6 at this point of time.

she said she noticed.
cause they are beginning to be real weighty (pun intended), and more..
formed.
especially my cheeks and arse.
yeah, my breasts too.
i guess junking on ben and jerry's, chocolate bars and chips was successful.
and slapping on 2 inches of nutella onto every piece of my bread.
oh. and also those seriously deep fried junk. (i can imagine ibu shaking her head now.)
its so horribly unhealthy, i know.
i have been guzzling down heaven and earth's green tea out of their 1.5 litre bottles.
seriously hoping that it can at least flush the toxins from my dangerously noxious body.
hmm. i still dont know if it does. does it??







i have been working out. indoors.
sit ups, crunches, guys' push ups and carrying nana's dumbbells.
the game is coming up and i am anticipating it.
maybe i should start running.







hmm.
talking about anticipation.
the girl is madly anticipating her 19.
and its driving us all crazy.
especially when she had a smashing one last year, partly thanks to me.
you're most welcome.
the other one is looming real near as well.
im in serious need of a financial advisor.








i stumbled upon it with mixed feelings.
but i wished i had the original one.
oh. and the one other as well.
i really want it, i wish i had it with me still.







*//okay. im really ecstatic. he just sent me the photograph. that original one.








during dinner that night, i told ibu.
we are going to have 4 children.
i need 3 boys and the youngest, a lovely girl.
one to protect the mother.
the other to protect the sister.
the last, but strongest one, to fight the father (if he decides to be a bastard).
and they all laughed.
and we are going to pamper the baby girl like crazy.



just nice.







beatboxers.
hip hop dancers. especially when they take it to the streets.
my current squeezes.







rugby world cup finals 2007.
the clock counts down.
england up against south africa.
time to raid the fridge and hit the tv.

i am all smiles.
its a truly blissful feeling.
im not a morning person, but i just could feel the vibe.
nothing can oust me.

beyond doubt im stronger now, so i signed in and re-read.
the words and pictures transformed into flashbacks.
stumbled upon this:

paper heart.
my paper heart tore
teardrops wet my tee
my flushed pink cheeks
your words are poison.

bittersweet.






he is picking me up later in the evening.
for ayam penyet dinner at marine parade.
and teh tarik at changi.






4 more hours.

the most famous of all love scenes.

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east and Juliet is the sun.
Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou her maid art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid since she is envious.
Her vestal livery is but sick and green,
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O it is my love.
O that she knew she were.
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eyes discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those
stars.
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek.

just beautiful.

i was walking home from school just now when i saw two naughty boys distressing the poor cat.
it is a frequent stray around my area.
totally heartless la.
it came running to me, and rubbed itself against my legs.
how can i resist when it is so manja like that??
i flopped onto the floor and showed it some love.
till way past buka.

syahir msged me at 5.04am on sunday.
the all time favourite.
they lost. =(
nobody does the haka like the all blacks.



richie mccaw from canterbury.
flanker and captain of the all blacks team.
now, thats real hot.









lewis hamilton lost too.











we celebrated the littlest birthday on saturday at my place.
cleaned upstairs, and finally nearly completed my chores.
the three of us were slogging in the kitchen.
like house-elves.
nana had that short break from the kitchen by going to causeway point - running errands.
i was watching transformers (for the fourth time) while folding the popiah.

nasrin couldnt wait for evening to come.
and we all could see how excited she was.

yeah, the load of cute presents she received.
she loved every one of them.


and her barney birthday cake.
totally like a kid.
it was delicious though.


happy 6th birthday darling.
i will always love you, baby.










he called me up.
wanting to talk to the princess FIRST.
and wish her happy birthday.
okay.
her eyes were shining bright talking to her "abang".
and she still cant believe he calls her "abang's princess".
*raises eyebrows and shakes head.*

too much already you know.
she is stealing all the guys away, including mine.
there was once she was talking to him, then hung up on him.
he called me back complaining, "woah!! your sister the potential heartbreaker. did you teach her that, syaz?"













i was shocked when i received the message.
i went home to check the papers, and saw the familiar face.
she is very young, and still unmarried.
innalillahi wainnalillahi rajiun.
i still remember her back at crescent.









nana corrected my previous blog posts.
whatever floats your boat la my dear.









the parcel came all the way from down under.
i loved the stuff she got me.
and im beginning to miss her alot.
i can still remember clearly, the last time we met up.















he looks so totally hot in uniform.
especially the number one.
oh. and with that sword.

when i see your smile

tears run down my face

i cant replace

and now that im stronger i have figured out

how this world turns cold

and breaks through my soul

and i know, i'll find deep inside me

i can be the one

i will never let you fall

i'll stand up with you forever

i'll be there for you through it all

even if saving you sends me to heaven

its okay, its okay, its okay

seasons are changing and waves are crashing

and stars are falling all for us

days grow longer and nights grow shorter

i can show you, i'll be the one

i will never let you fall

i'll stand up with you forever
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven

cause you're my, you're my, my

my true love, my whole heart

please dont throw that away

cause im here for you

please dont walk away

amd please tell me, you'll stay, stay

use me as you will

pull my strings just for a thrill

and i know, i'll be okay

though my skies are turning gray

i will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever

i'll be there for you through it all

even if saving you sends me to heaven

i will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever

i'll be there for you through it all

even if saving you sends me to heaven

i will never let you fall.

your guardian angel.

our song.

you will never catch me blogging at 9.53am of a saturday morning.
1) i will most probably be clocking in hours at the mart.
2) even if im not, i will most probably be in bed.
3) and if im not sleeping, i will most probably be pretending to sleep.
so yeah.





today is exceptional.
i stayed online for 12hours throughout.
thanks to him (yeah, he's back) and the msn buddies.
these guys just dont sleep, do they?
isnt booking out the time for you to get all the sleep you need?

he said something to me in the middle of the night.
made my heart beat faster.
my tummy churn butterflies.
and i cant stop smiling.






and its the littlest's birthday celebration tonight.
my saturday is so unavailable.
oh yeah.
and my sunday too.

i slogged eleven hours in school yesterday.
they called me up and asked whether i was camping in school.
haha!!
yeah right.







just that night i met up with the girls for buker.
and i had to prove myself to be the selengehest person.
"that goes without saying."
i seriously thought i saw 960 of the bus directory going to bukit timah road.
after suria's call and one and a half hours later.
i found myself in that bus, stuck in a traffic jam at the expressway and heading towards stevens road. seriously, i went down there countless of times.
so i got off at the first bus stop after the expressway and flagged down a cab.
the available one had to be a mercs.
plus that $2 surcharge.

passed by ccab and memories came flashing across my mind.

dinner was great la.
i had 2 cheese naan, mutton keema and 2 black spiders.
proved suria totally wrong.
came down to $15.










these people of yesterday are making a comeback.
i dont even remember them.
one of them is the most persistent, and feeling all frustrated.
you said i was a heartbreaker - but i did warn you.












just listening to it puts me in a blissful and relaxed state.
finally downloaded it la.
he loves it too.

"bodies in the sand
tropical drink melting in your hand
we'll be falling in love
to the rhythm of a steel drum band
down in kokomo.
...
afternoon delight
cocktails and moonlit nights
that dreamy look in your eye
give me a tropical contact high
way down in kokomo."



























i was so stupid, to think that for one moment, you cared.
it was easy for you to say that you love me.
now, look into my eyes.
and tell me you love me no more.




























8 hours to go.

28 november 2006.
carved into my memory for life.
just the seventeen of us, for 17 full days.

these are only a handful of the three thousand plus pictures we took.
and they are taken from our own camera lenses, not ripped off some internet search page.
videos not included.
accompanied by brief side notes.

feast your eyes.
soak in the sights.









kia ora!! (that means 'hello' in maori).

new zealand, or also known as aotearoa (the land of the long white cloud), is divided into two - the north and south island. it has a total area of 268,680 square kilometres but a population of merely 4.5million. that is one thousand times as huge as singapore, but having almost the same number of people. new zealand has the countrysides of england, lakes of canada and mountains of switzerland. as for the time zone, new zealand is 5 hours ahead of singapore.

we opted for seventeen days of free and easy, with dearest cik lim and busu as our tour guides. they went there for their honeymoon nearly 12 years ago. prior to the trip, much planning had to be carried out. the weekly gatherings at nenek's and makngah's place would be used to discuss about the vacation. the pre-new zealand shopping was awesome. since i had my winter clothings from the last winter iran holiday, i didnt have much shopping done. the rest had a blast though, getting themselves long johns, sweaters, windbreakers, socks and other stuff. i didnt really feel the excitement yet since i was busy preparing for the As that year, but as the days drew nearer, i just could feel the anticipation.

it should have been summer. however, the air temperature was below 20 degrees each time. while we were at queenstown, it went all the way down to 6. can you imagine how their winter is? the everyday lunch out was a picnic, prepared by ibu, nana and me. lovely picnic by running streams.

the landscape.

lovely contrast between the blue sky and green pastures.

the sight of sheep and cow frolicking are a norm.

busu's photography.

the majestic rapids of huka falls.

nothing beats this - lake tekapo.

upon coming out of the van and looking at this view in front of me, i went "subahannallah."

it was so beautiful, it left me speechless.

the water was clear.

there was absolutely no one around the area, except for us.

the environment was calm and quiet.

like time stood still.

lake tekapo again.

we used the lake water for ablution - it was freezing cold!!

carried out zohor and asar prayers right beside the lake.

i dont know why praying there was so.. special.

the feeling was so overwhelming that i felt tears rolling down my cheeks and onto my telekung.

another of busu's photography.

a sight while we were on the interislander's deck.

heading from the north to the south island.

check out the snow-capped mountain, it wasnt even winter.

the sights while driving along the mountain sides.

franz josef glacier.

a 4km walk on the rocky surface.

yeah, i was merely in slippers.

franz josef glacier.

only a heli ride can give you this shot.

sights of an england countryside.

lush greenery.

huka falls.

caught sight of a mini rainbow.

mountainside driving in the evening.

my shot.

could harldy open our eyes because the wind was hitting hard against our faces.

the little ones almost got swept away.

washing the lunch dishes by the stream.


an indian restaurant - taste of bengal.

all of us had their naan with curry and mutton keema.

our favourite shopping store.

DFS. this one has three storeys.

plenty of momentos, the all time favourite all blacks stuff.

the place where i blew most of my money.

the suspended single vehicle bridge.

the majestic clay cliffs.

we had to walk up the rocky surfaces.

getting down was the trickiest part, the men proved their worth.

the incredibly cool waitomo caves.

there is a great historical story behind it.

the limestone sculptures were amazing.

they hung around 5 - 10 metres from the cave ceilings, like sharp icicles.

took a slow boat ride in the cave itself to see the glow worms.

it was pitch dark, you couldnt even see your hand.

reminded me of the descent.

the glow worms were very pretty as they looked like stars.

millions of them.

the activities

craters of the moon.

the fittest five of us managed to climb all the way to the top of the hill.

it was taxing, we were hiking up the edge of the hill.

but then.

the view on the other side of the hill from the top was.. magnificient.

worth our lethargy, sweat and aching legs.

we ran downhill all the way.

first originated from new zealand, and is still one of the most popular sports.

this is the traditional bungee jumping, a 60m drop down.

a hundred dollars per jump.

i was begging ibu hard to let me try, but she was strongly not in favour.

so the rest of us persuaded syahir to do it.

he took an absolutely long time to decide.

and was farting continuously!! out of fear!!

we even saw one man who backed out, even after he had put on the harness and everything.

despite that, the crowd of people who were watching cheered him on.

i really regretted not being able to try it.

once in a lifetime.

busu's family were the only ones who took the heli ride all the way to the top of franz josef.

we were all jealous la.

looked like they were in the middle of either poles.

and the heli ride should be awesome.

and!! their helicopter was red and black.

how cool is that.

our first lunch (without busu's and the grandparents).

at an iranian restaurant.

we had kebabs.

it was comical, cause the owner was pointing to the menu, and he went, "this is halal, this is also halal, this is not, this one is, this is not, this is.. "

we were chortling at him la.

didnt really look forward to the horse-riding activity, but nana was simply ecstatic.

the trail was wonderful though.

we trotted through wildflowers, long grasses, small streams.

we passed through some scenes from lord of the rings. cool la.

princess arwen was speaking in elven language, prompting her horse to fly.

the other seven black horses were closing in to her, but she was clearly the better rider.

they were separated by the running water of the river.

summoning her powers, the water horses came in powerful torrents, crushing the black riders down.

syahir kicked his horse in the belly, and it started galloping.

so did all the others behind him.

that was fun la.

unfortunately, muzakkir lost his grip and fell a few feet off his horse.

and it was his birthday.

=(

kawarau jetboat.

packed with 2 Chevrolet V8 engines.

700 horsepower dreamride.

the total 7 360 degree turns were so cool.

the ultimate activity, worth every dollar cashed in.

white water rafting.

only the four of us went.

the briefing was very thorough.

and by the time it ended, syahir was all quiet.
we were sent off to put on the wet suits and keep our stuff.

the wet suits were the most ridiculously difficult pieces of clothings i ever had to put on.

they were so very extremely tight, i was quite breathless after having it on.

following that, we were given a plain jacket, a red jacket for identification, a life jacket, a helmet and wet shoes.

it was so damn frustrating wearing them and putting things together.

it wasnt easy moving around la.

i ended up being the other two's guardian, signing some documents.

so mark was our instructor, and he is every reason for the word c o o l.

i think he looks a bit like viggo mortensen (how ever his name is spelt).

he comes all the way from scotland and his accent is way cool.

i know im overusing the word cool.

we met up with 3 other rafters :

carlos from spain.

mitch from down under australia.

john from the US.

very strong men.

we rafted a total of 17km down the shotover river through6 rapids, ranging from grade 3-5.

the last grade 5 rapid was called jaws and it was the most violent and coolest of all.

our hands were so numb from the freezing water, that we could hardly feel anything.

we went to wash ourselves and they prepared some hot espressos with biscuits to warm us all up.

the whole experience was.. COOL.

haha.

sydney airport. our plane did a detour.

queuing up to redeem our food coupons worth $110.

realised that there were many people clad in stripes.

including that guy in front of us.

and he is totally hot la.

we used the coupons to get plenty of pretzels, pastry, drinks, muffins, nuts.

we gave away $20 and threw away $10.

yeah.

the tram conductor.

we asked him whether we could snap a picture of him, and he went, "im just a normal guy."

=) cute la.

praying by lake tekapo.

heavenly.

the deserted roads.

great place we went for cherry picking.

1kg of sweet red cherries at a mere $5!!

levin adventure park.

where even the adults had fun.

this was the hamster wheel, we kept rolling and toppling on top of one another.

then there was the flying fox.

nana hit her nose real bad while trying to avoid a little girl.

and it began bleeding non-stop.

if you think luging at sentosa is fun, it is nothing as compared to new zealand's la.

the cool crisp air, astounding scenery.

syahir hit the intermediate and he was luging right beside the gorge.

check out their gondola!!

one other awesome ride.

it goes faster than a ferrari.

this stranger suddenly came up to syahir and presented him with 2 tickets, worth $30 each.

he kindly gave the other to me.

we had no idea what it was about.

we were well harnessed and were lifted off the ground.

they lifted us about 80 degrees above using hydraulics.

the swing overlooked the entire area .

it was beautiful from way above.

we were supposed to pull some string to trigger the swing.

we did a little prayer up there.

once the trigger was let go, syahir and i were screaming our lungs out.

it went up to 150km/h in merely 2 seconds.

just pure excitement.

nobody does the haka like the new zealanders.

lovely backdrop.

love, roseate.

we did plenty other things as well, which i didnt include.

5 october 2006 was memorable as i beat syahir to a game of chess right after our dinner.

he couldnt believe it either.

it was my first, and maybe the last ever.

he is that good.

new zealand - where they shot the entire lord of the rings trilogy as well as narnia's the lion the witch and the wadrobe.

the people are really rugby crazy. they had a huge digital screen counting down to the rugby world cup, up to the very last second.

the all time favourite all blacks team.

every rugby player's dream destination.

i spent some time teaching the others some rugby basics.

lovely.

really lovely.

make it your next getaway.