one of the best things ever is that
my weekends are 4 days long -
i bet nothing can beat that.


the weather today is especially good
since it rained throughout the night,
the morning and afternoon after is comfortably cool.
apart from having to send the sister to school,
i can lounge all day in bed cause im having the entire house to myself -
till at least 5pm.




nana was right,
snorting at my, "im going to run every friday mornings"..
.. cause it never happened ever since the start of 2010.

pfft.











suddenly
i feel like doing so many things and go places
which require money.
i guess i have to watch my hard earned money i saved (to get my own crib)
for the past 20 plus years,
deplete.

like i have a choice.












where is my oil sheikh when i need him?

Your world is my world
And my fight is your fight
My breath is your breath
And your heart

justin bieber's on repeat.


























this doesnt make me a paedophile, right?

im going to plant a venus flytrap.







seriously, botany doesnt run in the family.
you know those plants outside and inside my house,
outside and inside the pond?
everyone else in the family had a hand in them
(even nana waters those plants occasionally)

except for me.



if i lived on a landed property with acres of land,
i would love lush greenery around me -
but the garderner's going to mend the greens.

but for now
i find them time and space consuming.








so right now
im getting myself in this to see if im a green finger.


for now
i can forsee that my venus flytrap wouldnt be able to grow as
huge, fierce and ugly as i imagined it would be
as the pot is seriously a minature. seriously.












.. unless it has been feeding on something else.

i give you everything that i am
im handing over everything that ive got
cause i want to have a really true love
dont ever want to have to go and give you up

stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring
and i want to make it worth the fight
what have we been doing for all this time
baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right.















dear God,
please give me the strength.

my resolution - for this semester.












you know the 3 new year resolutions i made for 2009?
i regretfully admit that i complied to neither.
though some efforts were done, they're nothing to be proud of.

so i made a resolution this year:
im not going to list any resolutions,
to avoid being too disappointed with myself.

but as usual,
i couldnt help myself from posting one for this semester.
and it is essential that i abide to it -
to prevent the chaos and break downs i went through the previous semester.




i pray
and hope ..

2010 will be a better year for me,









and for you too.

i can just hear him speaking in bahasa melayu.
woo pengsan.

he wants it no more.












part of me -
im feeling real crappy and shitty
cause im confused and hurt.

but the other side of me -
i should feel happy and proud
that he's growing up, thinking maturely and looking way forward.















lets just look beyond the years.
it may be a blessing in disguise.

last night saw sezairi sezali
winning singapore idol 2009..


.. and hit the sister with a headache
from all the loud screaming, music, shouting and cheering.










while the sister battled her throbbing head,
i say -
nothing beats a real-life performance
with a live band.

i dont have to tell you that i enjoyed the night very much.

i came back from adelaide
hit by some kind of virus which left me literally in bed
for 2 entire days.

thank goodness im getting better
though im still on the antibiotics.





never had i needed to use
so much face moisturiser and lip balm.
.. and i had the coldest showers in my entire life there.



it wasnt easy
to pick only a handful
out of the 800+ pictures i had of my vacation -
.. but someone's gotta do it.

and they're already up on facebook.















for the very first time
in our 21 months long relationship,
he bought me flowers -
long, lovely stalks of purple carnations.

and he left me a beautiful poem in my inbox,
sent last night
while we were having our mega huge row.







i may be
the happiest girl
just about now.