i give you everything that i am
im handing over everything that ive got
cause i want to have a really true love
dont ever want to have to go and give you up

stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring
and i want to make it worth the fight
what have we been doing for all this time
baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right.















dear God,
please give me the strength.

my resolution - for this semester.












you know the 3 new year resolutions i made for 2009?
i regretfully admit that i complied to neither.
though some efforts were done, they're nothing to be proud of.

so i made a resolution this year:
im not going to list any resolutions,
to avoid being too disappointed with myself.

but as usual,
i couldnt help myself from posting one for this semester.
and it is essential that i abide to it -
to prevent the chaos and break downs i went through the previous semester.




i pray
and hope ..

2010 will be a better year for me,









and for you too.

i can just hear him speaking in bahasa melayu.
woo pengsan.

he wants it no more.












part of me -
im feeling real crappy and shitty
cause im confused and hurt.

but the other side of me -
i should feel happy and proud
that he's growing up, thinking maturely and looking way forward.















lets just look beyond the years.
it may be a blessing in disguise.

last night saw sezairi sezali
winning singapore idol 2009..


.. and hit the sister with a headache
from all the loud screaming, music, shouting and cheering.










while the sister battled her throbbing head,
i say -
nothing beats a real-life performance
with a live band.

i dont have to tell you that i enjoyed the night very much.

i came back from adelaide
hit by some kind of virus which left me literally in bed
for 2 entire days.

thank goodness im getting better
though im still on the antibiotics.





never had i needed to use
so much face moisturiser and lip balm.
.. and i had the coldest showers in my entire life there.



it wasnt easy
to pick only a handful
out of the 800+ pictures i had of my vacation -
.. but someone's gotta do it.

and they're already up on facebook.















for the very first time
in our 21 months long relationship,
he bought me flowers -
long, lovely stalks of purple carnations.

and he left me a beautiful poem in my inbox,
sent last night
while we were having our mega huge row.







i may be
the happiest girl
just about now.

its exactly 8.15am in adelaide
and we're waiting to board the ferry to kangaroo island.
the weather has been really great,
except that it doesnt feel like summer at 18 degrees.

one of the best nights at morella farm
where we saw a million of stars sprayed across the dark night sky.









more to come.
miss you lovely people.

i havent even started packing,
not even the cabin bag.

.. and we're setting off in less than 4 hours time.
i want to see whether i can pull it off.



















i'll be back
.. pretty soon. (:

hei konā rā!

i looked at the vast night sky tonight
and i couldnt believe that
i cant even count the number of stars sprayed across the blackness.

it was simply ..
.. beautiful.

there were even three lined up in a straight row.



i started to miss those shooting stars
back at pulau ubin.





i have been watching avatar: the last air bender episodes back-to-back.
my bed time is past 5am every night
and tonight i'll stay up for the final installment.
woo!







we'll be flying off in nineteen hours time and
the new luggage bag ibu bought for us is not even opened yet.

as i have been telling everyone ..
"nothing beats the adrenaline rush of packing your luggage at the very last minute."
unfortunately, the parents and aunt do not share the same excitement as i do.

so
for this time round
i'll be pushing myself to pack only in the last 1 hour.


it'll be one hell of a mad hour.

i read and saw something so irksome
that made me roll my eyes and go, wth.

.. just because it made me think of -
what ifs, why cants and why isnts.



right on cue, i saw this email in my inbox -


subject: jangan benci-membenci

Ramai juga orang yang gagal dalam pergaulan kerana menyimpan perasaan
BENCI dalam hati mereka. Tuhan itu maha adil. Perasaan benci dalam diri
kita akan menyebabkan ramai orang mudah benci terhadap kita. Misalnya,
orang yang membenci ibu bapanya mungkin akan dibenci oleh
rakan-rakannya. Orang yang membenci jirannya atau bekas kekasihnya
mungkin akan dapat kebencian daripada rakan sekerjanya atau malahan
ketua jabatannya. Justeru hapuskanlah segala perasaan benci daripada
hati kita agar kita mudah menjalin hubungan dengan orang lain.

Kaedah Mengikis Benci
Cara yang terbaik untuk mengikis benci ialah dengan memaafkan semua
orang sebelum tidur malam. Jika setiap malam sebelum tidur kita sentiasa
mencuci muka, memberus gigi, membersihkan diri dan mengibas tempat
tidur, tidak bolehkah kita mencuci hati kita dengan memaafkan semua
orang sebelum tidur?

Pengalaman secara peribadi penulis menunjukkan bahawa dengan memaafkan
semua orang sebelum tidur, kita akan dapat membersihkan hati serta
menenangkan fikiran dan mudah menjalin hubungan baik dengan orang lain.

Faktor-faktor Yang Boleh Merangsang Kehebatan Dalam Pergaulan Antara
faktor yang menyebabkan kita mudah berinteraksi dengan orang lain dan
orang lain mudah tertarik kepada kita ialah :-
1) Jaga solat dan lakukan ibadah-ibadah khusus dan umum yang lain.
2) Ssentiasa bersangka baik terhadap orang.
3) Sentiasa memberikan senyuman ikhlas kepada orang di sekeliling kita.
4) Banyakkan bersedekah, samada dalam bentuk wang, senyuman, bantuan
tenaga, masa, nasihat, idea, pandangan, sokongan moral dan doa yg
berterusan.
5) Sentiasa memperbanyakkan sabar. Nabi s. a. w. pernah berpesan supaya
mencari 144 sebab sebelum kita memarahi orang.
6) Sentiasa ceria apabila berjumpa dengan orang lain. Pastikan setiap
orang seronok berinteraksi dengan kita.
7) Pamerkan perasaan sayang dan sentiasa sayang -menyayangi antara satu
dengan yang lain.
8) Bentuk dan pamerkan sahsiah yang positif setiap masa. Peribadi yg
kurang sopan akan menyebabkan orang lain rasa mual terhadap kita.
9) Amalkan sunnah-sunnah harian setiap masa dan insyaAllah orang lain
akan tertarik kepada kita.
10) Jika wujud sebarang perasaan sombong atau benci terhadap orang lain,
terus ingatkan diri kita tentang mati. Kita mudah insaf dan balik ke
pangkal jalan apabila mengingati mati.
11) Sentiasa syukur dan redha atas pemberian Allah swt.
12) Sentiasa memberi salam dan ucap selamat kepada orang lain. Pemberian
salam akan mengukuhkan hubungan sesama manusia.
13) Pamerkan simpati kepada setiap individu-individu yang memerlukan
simpati dan perhatian.
14) Jadilah pendengar dan kawan yang setia.
15) Sampaikan berita baik tentang orang lain dan sembunyikan kelemahan
atau keburukan orang lain.
16) Sentiasalah bermaaf-maafan sebelum berpisah dengan seseorang dan
iringi perpisahan dengan doa.

Terlebih dahulu baiki diri untuk menarik perhatian orang lain terhadap
diri kita, kita perlu Orang yang mengasihi dirinya tidak akan melakukan
sebarang kegiatan yang boleh men-sabotaj dan merosakkan dirinya. Setiap
tindak-tanduknya akan dilakukan secara berhikmah dan sentiasa memikirkan
perasaan orang lain. Ingatlah pesanan seorang sarjana:
"Orang tidak kisah setakat mana yang anda tahu (berilmu), sehinggalah mereka tahu yang anda kisah terhadap mereka."




only then did i realise that i may be more blessed
than half the people in this world.
alhamdulillah.




anyway, seeing busu's email made all of us smile:


it seems that the temperature in adelaide is dipping.
its just too bad the exchange rate isnt.