you're not alone

together we stand

i'll be by your side,

you know i'll take your hand

when it gets cold

and it feels like the end

there's no place to go

you know i won't give in

no i won't give in.

there was that all-too-familiar yellow car
parked at the courtyard of the
bungalow opposite ours.
woo.

and i got nana all hyped up
thinking our neighbour owned a
lamborghini murciélago.

it turned out to be a
half-a-million-dollar
lotus.

and how could i not recognise it
when i own a lotus elise myself??
(in need for speed, i mean)
heh.

you dont realise what you have,
until you lose it.

after the tearful, sleepless night ..
thanks for making it up
and the entire perfect day.

i love you.

i give you everything that i am

i'm handin' over everything that i've got

cause i wanna have a really true love

don't ever wanna have to go and give you up

stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring

and i want to make it worth the fight

what have we been doing for all this time?

baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right.

they say, "be careful of what you wish for."

and right now i wish so hard

that i was never granted the wish.

because i know

that i wont wake up to his lovely face,

ever.

i just typed out an entire post and my laptop just hung on me. my stomach is growling and ozzy osbourne's mr crowley is still playing in my head. i can hardly open my eyes thanks to the i-only-slept-at-6.30am-last-night-and-woke-up-5-hours-later. i just realised that i typed this post in a paragraph. whatever. i shall stop ranting (this is the cue where you go, "thank goodness".) 10 peaceful, undisturbed, dreamless hours of sleep will do the trick.

Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head
(Oh) Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead
Your lifestyle to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all those people with magic
(Yeah) You waited on Satan's call

Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure
Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred, manifest on this earth
(Oh) Conceived in the eye of a secret
Yeah, they scattered the afterbirth.

goodnight.

last week, it was nenek's voice calling "nasrin!" outside the door.
just a few minutes ago, it was syahir's voice saying, "assalamualaikum!"



i must be hallucinating.

updates.



mocca - live in singapore.

i bet if the boyfriend was there,
he would have just swooned over the lead singer.

ugh.

paintball - at bottle tree park.

"if you find yourself getting shot at, even after you are at the interval of regaining your life, dont be upset or get emotionally unstable. its either - an accidental shot, your enemies are overly too excited or you are a supervisor. so its time for you to do some self-reflecting."

i went to the field,
mentally prepared
for the much-talked-about-pain,
when a paintball hits you at top speed.

i charged to the middle,
fired a few ammo,
ran forward to grab the flag
(the objective of the game),
returned to the starting point ..

.. and none of those whizzing balls
of orange paint hit me.

i decided to do a little self-reflecting nonetheless,
and i conclude:
1) i must have ran faster than the bullet balls
2) no one considered me a threat
3) no one wanted to intentionally hurt me
4) im nice
5) my team members did an excellent job of protecting and covering up for me.

and none of them holds true,
except for no. 5, maybe.

heh.




aza got herself a really nasty black bruise
at the back of her knee,
while shannon bruised her shoulder.

i ended up with extremely muddy
jeans and shoes,
as though i had been out playing touch rugby.

not a scratch though.



buffet lunch - orchid country club
the food was not as great as expected
but it filled our growling stomachs.





AND



to the one who mia-ed
for nearly 2 weeks.
yes, i specially adopted him from the spca for you,
so that nyet will have a friend.


lunch at popeyes'
at the singapore flyer.
one word: yummy!!




i was stuffing myself
with so much food
that i fell ill almost immediately.

when maz dropped me off at woodlands,
i was dragging myself in a 'stoned' state.
upon reaching home,
i retched out what i thought was everything from my stomach.
but i threw up another three times,
emptying the entire contents of my insides.

hit the bed at 9pm.

her mind is tiffany-twisted,

she got the mercedes benz
she got a lot of pretty, pretty boys

she calls them friends
how they dance in the courtyard,

sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember,

some dance to forget.

i wonder
how long will it take
if he came over my place to meet my parents
instead.

it all started out
with the latest cleo issue.

the weeks before had been so stagnant-
it was almost boring and monotonous.





that early morning
i decided to make a detour to the newsstand,
to avoid someone i didnt feel like talking to
and as a filler for the long bus journey.

...

then everything began to fill up
real quick.





we were peeling cloth bits
off ibu's humongous banner last saturday,
when the telephone rang.

bapak's reaction shocked us.
the phonecall left him muted.
we headed to wak ros' place.

the atmosphere was subdued.



wak ros received a call from the police that morning, informing her that they found her younger brother's body at his home. they suspected that he had passed away a week ago. since he was a bachelor, he resided at the ang mo kio flat alone. the neighbours called the police because of the unbearable stench coming from his house. wak tam's body was found just behind the closed door, his body partially decomposed.

the police presumed he just got back as he had placed his pouch and wallet on the table neatly. his body was sent to the mortuary and family members could only claim it the next day.



we headed to sgh's mortuary on sunday morning.

the process of
claiming the body,
bringing it to the masjid to bathe the body and solat jenazah
and finally the burial -
was very fast.

and throughout,
the rest of us were not allowed to see his body.







later that afternon
after a hearty lunch,
we set out to get materials for the banner.

newspapaers laid out,
the banner spread out
plenty of plastic plates.


then we got real busy and messy ..

a total of 30 pots of rainbow colours including blacks, whites and browns.

the children played their part by pouring the colours out and getting all messy.

the initial pencil drafts.

it was tedious - filling up alternate colours first, before painting the in-betweens.

details, precission, exactness, accuracy, care, meticulousness.

our hard work was paid off
with an appetizing late dinner,
which left me 2 months pregnant.
we could hardly walk.







then.
the sweet boyfriend surprised me with this.



complete with 26 games downloaded
just because ..
"so that you wont be bored during your journey to school, if im not around with you."

woo.







thereafter.
the same adorable boy got me these.









i have read the first two installments,
thanks to indra.
but owning them is a different thing altogether.

whee!







the plan to play wii on friday evening
at the lounge backfired.
so we decided go stay out for dinner.

we were so cheapskate,
we decided to hit nenek's place
for free dinner.

it was finger-licking good, as usual.
:)



much later into the night
syazana lost her phone in the cab
after chilling with izhar at macs.

we waited for the cab driver to "turn back"
as he said he would
but the entire hour was wasted.
it was 1am when we reached home,
all jaded, disappointed and irritated.







i decided to get all hardworking
on staurday morning,
vacuuming and mopping the floors upstairs.

while syazana hit st james' with the rest,
the boyfriend picked me up
and drove me to nenek's place.







while the euphoria is still sinking in,
im wondering whether i have the time
to bask in the lovelies.

i think,
i'll take one step at a time -

completing the entire cleo issue only today,
(its been more than a week)
is a good start.



goodnight, love.