my father's form of love came in the form of "kesanggupan".

we have been told to get a number of texts and novels for our malay literature course. seeing that these novels are traditonal texts, it is really difficult to get it in singapore. i had a good friend who accompanied me all around geylang to get those books but to no avail. fortunately, one of my course mates told us that she know a supplier and we could order the books from her - except for one, sulalatus salatin.

i was worried as i was the first group to present (in the second week of february) and I have yet to get the book. my father volunteered to get the book from bookshops in malaysia since there is a higher chance of finding the book there. unfortunately, the bookshop at johor bahru ran out of stock. so he drove up all the way to ulu tiram and finally got for me two copies of the book.

and all the while, I thought that he had no heart. it inspired me to do well for the module because of how difficult it had been to get hold of the book. but that inspration fell short when i opened the first page to read the prologue. it left me completely lost.


i am going to try.

this second new zealand trip had been nothing short of awesome. we did the craziest things ever. cant wait to get the pictures up! (:

new zealand, 24 december 2011 - 6 january 2012.

i finally checked my results almost two weeks after they were released (as usual!). initially, i thought of checking it only after coming back from new zealand - gives me plenty of reason to enjoy my holidays without having to maul over bad results. but i was thinking that i could not possibly enjoy my holidays at all, with the thought of my results at the back of my head! alhamdulillah, it was better than i had ever expected, seeing the amount of preparation i had put in and the plenty of major distractions i had to face.

i am not linked to this company in any way, but i have to state that the money changer at lot 1 has one of the best rates ever. recently, i changed S$1,500 to the new zealand currency and the rates are at least better than those at mustafa centre. it is quite hypnagogic knowing that we'll be heading to new zealand in a mere 2 days and i guess the most challenging things we got to do ourselves are to cook and get up in time to catch the bus. hopefully all goes well and we'll be having the time of our lives!



as the pieces come settling in, its quite surreal to know that you will be heading off to mesir really soon.

the house is considerably quiet without ibu and nasrin around. and the start of the duo's 9 day trip to korea saw me, syazana and the brother having the house to ourselves every night.


date with my favouritest girlfriends had me splurging $9 on a pot of tea at the pâtisserie, salon de thé (tea room) and restaurant, antoinette. they had a vast selection of custom-blended teas, which were meticulously described in their menu, such as earl grey d'antoinette and fleurs confiture d'oranges. nurul had the french apple tart tea, which i thought was really delicious and tasted like the real deal!


it is amazing how God plans each of our lives and fits all these jigsaw pieces perfectly. always, always count your blessings.

hola!

sorry for the really long hiatus, i was tied down with plenty of stuff which were enough to keep my mind busy. and i was beginning to question as to whether anyone even realized the hiatus. nonetheless, school-related stuff took up almost three quarters of my brain capacity and the annual new year resolution of NO PROCRASTINATING (the resolution had been running for at least 5 years now, mind you!) will never sink in. so, as usual, i was rushing through to complete projects and assignments at the eleventh hour and by the time i was liberated from those, i had a mere three days to prepare for my first paper. BUT now, since the end of my final paper, i came across the best word in english - HOLIDAYS, that is! and even though i felt that i screwed up all my papers, im going to push aside those feelings and pretend i aced through every one of them till results are out, at least.

in the midsts of all the chaos, i made another resolution (which by now you should know that my capability of sticking to them is near zilch!) to work out intensively at least three times a week prior to our new zealand "backpacking" trip. and my efforts have been sub-zero. so just a few weeks ago, i purchased a top from lovebonito at size s, seeing that both their models are a uk size 6/8. it turned out to be so tight, i had to go through the hassle of exchanging it to a larger size! that sparked of a realization of my new bigger body size. so while i was clearing my wadrobe, i came across my jc uniform and decided to put it on just for fun - i couldnt zip the skirt. that was the ultimate confirmation.

speaking of our new zealand "backpacking" trip, it had been the main source of distraction from focusing during my exam preparations. the only "backpacking" thing we're going to do is stay at hostels - other than that, we are not going to even carry backpacks! we had to pre-book the flight, transportation and accommodation for all 14 days and it was not easy, especially when we're spending christmas and new year's there, as well as the period we're visiting is the peak of their summer holidays. im really looking forward to this trip (which is less than a month's time!), getting to spend time with syazana, syairah and syahir, revisit one of our favourite places and experience those adrenaline rush activities.

on the 20 november 2011, we celebrated syairah's much awaited 21st birthday celebration @ straits kitchen, grand hyatt. syazana and i worked on the mini scrapbook package the entire day and found out that we could not finish it in time for the dinner. we were prepared to get shouted at (which we did, and it did not end even while we were in the car). when i thought the day could not get any worse, the traffic to town was horrible and we could not find a parking lot at grand hyatt.

but it was worth it. (:


kak lini and abang rizal's wedding during the last weekend was a simplistic affair. held at kampong ubi community centre, the nikah was held in the morning, followed by the sanding. and after almost 19 years, our relatives from port dickson came down to celebrate the joyous occasion with us. we were told that they had to pay around RM300 to make/renew their passports, which is so expensive as compared to singapore! we were very happy to have them here and they even came by to our place after the wedding ceremony. to end their visit here, bapak decided to treat them to dinner at sakura.


for now, im going to take my time to get out of bed and enjoy the holidays. till next time!

ramadhan

alhamdulillah, its 17 days into ramadhan and i am blessed for the health God has given me to carry out fasting easily. however, i am disappointed, with myself, for not being able to carry out as much ibadah as i planned to before ramadhan settled in.

zuhr and asar prayers are done in school, and often rushed. as i was sifting through the telekungs at the musollah, i realised that i just cannot bring myself to wear them to pray anymore. similar to those at the mosques, most telekungs are stained with makeup especially around the face area and some are extremely dirty. i know that the girls who mend the musollah are trying to solve the problem and there is even a friendly note advising users to wipe their face with a tissue prior to putting on the telekung. however, i guess some marks will still be left as it is not the same as using a makeup remover to completely cleanse our makeup off.

i wish i could bring home those telekungs and wash them. however, it takes quite some time for the telekungs to be washed and dried and in the meantime, what should the girls use? today, i decided to leave my abaya there and hopefully it does not get misplaced.

school

school has been overwhelming. with six modules this semester, two modules almost overlapping one another, three examinable ones, the constant changing faces of course mates, i am very confused. the past few lectures and tutorials had been a run though of the course programme and there are a lot to be done with high expectations by the tutors and lecturers. having classes which end at 5.30pm everyday means that i have to battle the overwhelming crowd (who decided to clock off at the same time!) taking the public transport.

today's journey home with a friend reminded me to feel blessed of the given education opportunity we all have been blessed with. he reminded me that somewhere in the world, there are children who are unable to get the education they have always wanted, women are oppressed and not given the rights to education, schools are closed down, demolished and torn down due to various reasons - and here i was lamenting at the system and structure. our meaningful conversation today reminded me of 'forbidden lessons in a kabul guesthouse', a book i just completed.

tiny steps

one of my tutors mentioned about the speed of living in singapore. "here, nobody is walking. everybody is running, like someone is chasing them. they are walking very fast and often busy on their phones. just take a step back and look at people rushing at the mrt stations. in switzerland, they work and study just as hard. but once they clock out from work and school, the entire nation just slows down. you can see men in suits strolling and stopping by a bed of flowers to inhale the fragrance, catching up on their leisure reading on a park bench."

firstly, i decided that after so many gushing reviews on switzerland (except from rage), i have to visit and experience the country myself. secondly, i realised that i had been one of those who walks very fast even while walking home, and therefore leaving myself almost breathless by the time i reach my doorstep. thirdly, while i know it is impossible to take my time walking on my journey to school, i decided to take a stroll while heading home, everyday.

my usual 7-minute walk home extended to a good 15 minutes. i began to notice. i noticed that there had been a brown patched white feline which usually hangs around at the car park near my place, the Malay guy on the second floor of a particular block smokes bare bodied at his balcony, a maid brings a wheelchair-ridden grandmother to the playground while she overlooks her grandchildren playing, and much more. and i also noticed that i don't reach my house gate breathless anymore.

i want to see God's greatness.

i want to see the breath-taking wonders of the world.

i want to experience the different weathers, cultures and traditions.

i want to learn their history and the secrets of their languages.

i want to taste their national dishes.

i want to make friends with their people.

i have been on google maps and reading travel blogs way too much.

alhamdulillah, its into the third day of ramadhan.

paulo coelho's 'the alchemist' kept me company throughout the journey in the train and bus, as well as at the waiting area. a delightfully wonderful read, it makes me realise that there's so much more i need to learn, see, experience and do - starting with learning Arab.

al-markaz recently got back to my email, however the classes will commence every saturday mornings, which are very tight for me. and the next cycle will be a long way after. i do not know where else to start.

school will be starting in a few days time and the timetable has been churned out. it looks alright except for the five hour break on monday and im still clueless as to whom will be in my tutorial group. there's going to be a whole lot of shuffling, getting used to and adapting - which im really not good at.

dear God, please help me.

quick bites.
i have not been updating this space because i did not see anything interesting for me to share and truth to be told, i dont know anyone who would be interested in knowing about what is going on in my life. then, i realised that i was writing, not to tell others of my experiences, but to remind myself of these wonderful memories in which i should be grateful for.

robes and scrolls.
6th of july 2011 saw each of us graduating. alhamdulillah.

and these beautiful girls were the ones who made my two years amazingly wonderful. ♥

and i hate to imagine having to go through 4 semesters without them. i know it is going to be extremely difficult.it was something i wanted, worked and prayed for, but knowing that i had to do it for 2 more years, without my pillars of strength, i am torn.


bookshelf.
the complete list of books i recently purchased and read from bookdepository.com:
1) shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafon
2) love in a headscarf by shelina zahra janmohamed
3) book thief by markus zusak
4) water for elephants by sara gruen
5) kite runner by khaled hosseini
6) a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini

while i enjoyed reading every single one of them, (kite runner was bought because i fell in love with the novel after reading it in 2006, i had to own it) i thought that a thousand splendid suns was the best book i have read. although of a different genre, i enjoyed reading it more than that of one of my favourite authors, sidney sheldon. a thousand splendid suns ended with a lasting impact, in which i thought was really powerful.

rainbow stripes.
sunday with rachel for our bimonthly meet ups. while we planned for a relaxing, kite-flying, monopoly dealing picnic at marina barrage, we ended up flying the kite at the rooftop of her bukit timah penthouse instead - which was way better, without the worry of the string getting caught in another's, without having to fight for mat space.

within minutes of the kite-flying, we felt pelts of rain and had to go indoors. she presented my extremely early birthday present.

an engraved keychain, 3 tubes of hand lotion by crabtree and evelyn, as well as a lovely diamond pendant from goldheart.

while what i got for her birthday have not been as extravagant as what she had gotten me these past 10 years, she seemed pleased with all of them. right now, i have to start cracking my brain to think of what to get for her birthday. what do you get for that someone, within your means, who has almost everything?

genting highlands, june 2011

1. our short getaway to genting highlands was considerably quite good, given the chilly weather and fresh air compared to back at home. it was an almost 6-hour drive up and i slept through the entire journey (except having to get up during our breakfast stop at singgah selalu).

2. what nurul said about the influx of foreigners was right - the last time i visited genting almost 6 years ago, we could take the theme park rides without having to queue. this time, an average waiting time to queue for a ride was almost 45 minutes!

3. the queuing time did not help when a certain group of people decided to allow his "group" of 7 - 8 others to jump the queue, not once, but twice! this attracted much anger from the crowd and have them yelling at the group of inconsiderate people.

4. nasrin's virgin roller coaster rides - she braved herself to take the rides she was eligible to (according to her height), including the stomach churning pirate ship! even syazana didn't dare get on!

5. food was expensive but the best was the thai lunch we had at the food court. we were very disappointed with the food quality and service at kenny roger's. the food was cold, muzakkir cleaned up his plate of the worst tasting spaghetti (i think he must be extremely hungry!) and so many food items on the menu were not available. upon payment, the cashier made a stark mistake but insisted she was right and pulled that long face which irked syazana so much so that she scolded that woman.



i have to report to school on wednesday and i'm not looking forward to the start. sigh.

so yesterday, i spent the entire day with the cutest. my favourite was seeing him splash in his mini tub, flash his toothless grin and hear him chuckling - the cutest sound i have ever heard.

and yesterday, the Almighty proved his greatness and laid out his plans for me.
alhamdulillah.



we're taking a trip up to genting highlands for our short getaway in 2 hours time. as usual, i have yet to start packing. see you soon!

yesterday saw me splashing out $2,200 within minutes.

this is my most expensive buy, to date.

its the start of my holidays after two weeks of adjustments to the new school, and i still don't feel quite settled yet. unfortunately for me, we did not play for even a short trip even though i feel that i needed it, with so many things happening since the beginning of the year, and i have worked really hard.

then comes the financial blow - getting my mac to replace the loaned notebook and that broken book shelf embedded glass which does not come in cheap. don't get me started on how that happened. AND i'm deciding on whether i should be getting a new hard disk as well as that super zoom digital camera, seeing that the IT show is approaching.

due date.

i completed the album in less than 3 hours. i know that there is nothing to be proud of, especially when the sister had already done up the turkey december 2010 album last year and i managed to complete mine only 2 hours ago. still, i started and completed it - and that is an achievement to me.

treasure cove.

so i decided to clean up my practicum stuff which had been strewn across the room (mostly on my side and a few spill over to the sister's). she had been really patient, selectively blind to my mess in the room and trying to avoid stepping my stuff.

while i was clearing the stuff up, i managed to find this bookmark which had been put away since our new zealand trip in 2006! just in time cause i was finding a nice bookmark for my newly purchased books.

inked.


speaking of which, one out the seven books i order from book depository arrived in the mail today! i cant wait to start on it.

ibu's niche

i consider my mum to be an 'okay' cook. not as skillful as my grandmother, or my grandmother's sister. however, i cannot deny that she makes the BEST popiah goreng, ever! and i have so many people to vouch for that. the popiah is fried to perfection that the popiah skin is really crispy, the filling inside still retains is juiciness and tastes just right and the sauce is the bomb, despite it being really spicy.
last night was our lucky night when she decided to make it.

we helped fold the popiah skin while i fried it - all 40 pieces. bapak had 10 pieces at one go while i had 6 for myself. yummy!

it would be a timely reminder to always remember that His love is greater than my disappointments, and His plans for my life are better than my dreams.

this 496-paged, hardback with felt material and gold trimmed book cost me a good $73.75 and i finally completed reading it today! this uncut version consists of famous tales told by the beautiful storyteller shahrazad herself to entertain king shahriyar for 1,001 nights - as well as save her life.

i cant wait for the seven books i purchased from book depository!

shall start reading on those i got from the islamic book fair yesterday.

trust is when a baby laughs when he is thrown into the air, knowing that you will catch him.

of love letters, and tears.

good morning! (at least for me!)

1. just got up from my 12-hour slumber, which i really needed, after pulling off an all-nighter to complete my essay.

2. one of the most meaningful speeches i heard was penned down, and made by cikgu rosza during her last lecture yesterday afternoon - it left most of the girls in that lecture theater teary.

3. loved the lepak session at simpang bedok with the girls and especially the food at spize!

4. i have always thought alyph sleeQ was short - in pictures, music videos and concerts. after bumping into him at simpang bedok, he is not that small, i guess its syarif sleeQ who is really tall.

5. the three hour phone conversation with him last night brought back really fond memories and left me hanging with "what ifs". and i was reminded again, how i am the stupidest person, ever. i fell asleep with him on my mind.

6. dinner at downtown east tonight with the other 18, i spent my 2 years with.

7. to complete weekly reflections by tonight.

8. next week's reality check.

you are just not that cool anymore.





on another note:

on that past tuesday in school, we had to dress up according to a music genre of our choice and attend the lyric writing workshop. it had been quite some time since i had dressed up and i enjoyed every bit of it! we squeezed into one of the huge toilet cubicles, and together with amirah, got dressed and made up.

why don't you have a go at guessing what music genre each of us were dressed for? (: