it was something tom said to me late sunday afternoon.
and he wasnt the only one to say that.
.. how can you have only your interest at heart?..

okay.


love itself is a selfish motivation. take it from william blake's 'the clod and the pebble'.
'love seeketh only Self to please,
to bind another to Its delight.'


to be able to have a choice - its fantastic.
but how can having choices be so great, if i had to choose between two most wonderful things?
truthfully?
it scared me alot.
and at a point of time, i told myself that i did not want to do this anymore.

but i had to take that chance at my choice.
if not i wont ever know, would i?
if i didnt take that chance at risking my choice, i may be missing something - which could be the best thing that would have ever happened in my life.


the complete stranger walked away for the final time tonight.
with maroon 5's sweetest goodbye.


its a total of 7 times i have hit the play button.
yeah, i counted.

aicha - outlandish.

thanks a lot, baby.

hmmm.
even the sister's hooked to outlandish's aicha.
exactly a month to the day she has always been anticipating.
and it means its a stint month for me.
whatever.

just last night i blew my dollars on ice-cream for the entire extended family.
fortunately busu's wasnt there.
its rolling in again.

i love the late night conversations with him.
and last night's was not an exception.
but he said something which made me think hard.
.. a million skeletons in your wadrobe.

i dont think i am that mysterious as you think i am, you know.
but.
you may think you know me, but you dont.
not ever.

i kind of miss the background dudes when we are having our talks while he's in camp.
my dear sir,
you've booked out for too long.
i am beginning to miss your men.

i am dreading this month's bill.

outlandish-ing

one night, i asked him what song would he associate me with.
a moment's pause. then he played the song over the phone. completely heartwarming.

last afternoon, i was awakened from my deep slumber by the sister. she had her laptop in her hand. he talked to her online and wanted me to listen to the song at that moment. i told you that he's persistent. calling you by outlandish.

check them out.

middle-east guys are soo hot. especially when they sing or rap in english and spanish.
or.
when they play footie for their country.

okay.
four days into ramadhan.
and a complete 12 days abandonment.










it just happened.
swept me off just like a whirlwind would.



it was one of the toughest.
but i made my choice.








the entire of yesterday with you.
was pure bliss.

you know things are going to get pretty ugly when:





1) one has given his heart to you.
and you adore him.



2) you went out for dinner with another.
but at the back of your mind, thinking of the other that you adore.



3) the entire night spent talking to one other on msn and the phone.
with follow-ups after he had booked in.
he's persistent and he insists.
the one who got suspended back in jc.
flying high at ocs.
7 charges under his name.

you know he's mack on attack,
throwing you off.
and you accepted a night out with him.

but you're still thinking of the other that you adore.

the worst has yet to come -
he is your friend's boyfriend.



4) your younger sister is worried - for you.

she already has plenty on her mind.
with him hitting another car.
her laptop crashing on her.
and who-knows-what-else.
if she's thinking alot, she's doing a good job at masking it.

nana honey.
im sorry i was so mean to you yesterday. =/





its going to be a hell of a thrilling ride.
i know.

watch this space.
period.

he scores.
her - 1. him - 1.
now she has to wait in anticipation.





he wasnt feeling too well yesterday when i saw him.
and today, he got caught in the downpour while riding across the expressway.
without a jacket on. =/

je suis maintenant bien plus déterminé.
nous devons obtenir le convertible.




by the way, im tipping the scales.
all in good time cause its merely a week to ramadhan.


supper with the dearest later at macs.